I’ve been in a bit of a blogging rut lately…but sometimes it’s all I can do to live this crazy life much less write about it!

It’s hard to believe how much has changed about life in the past year. Last year it was just two of us waiting to welcome what we thought was one child into our family. Apparently God had bigger plans…and a sense of humor! We added two amazing boys to our family last September and a beautiful baby girl in February. Russell got a new job in April and wore a fancy cap & gown in May. June 1st was my last day of work to become a stay at home mom. All of this has been amazing, and a huge blessing…but honestly, so exhausting.

Being a foster parent is hard…by far the hardest thing I’ve ever experienced. It has also been the most amazing, stretching, growth I’ve ever experienced as a person and in our marriage. We have been forced to put ourselves, sleep, money, and life as we knew it aside. Yes, most parents do…but it wasn’t gradual. It felt like more of a BOOM! All of the changes have molded me a little… into what I feel is a very different person than I was even a year ago. Thankfully, Russell and I have grown together & clung to each other in times when we felt our load was too heavy to carry another day. The privacy of the case makes everything seem so vague to family and friends & in some ways I hate that, but honestly, most of it I wouldn’t share anyway even without a contract. The past year of our crazy is the beginning of their story and that story is theirs to share as they wish with whom they wish…not mine.

I am constantly amazed at how far we have ALL come in the past year. Thankfully our youngest two have been oblivious to the past year…unfortunately, the oldest hasn’t had that privilege. I can’t imagine being four, living with strangers, having new rules & expectations, culture shock, being told you’re going home, not seeing birth family for months, and then trying to grasp what adoption is finally at 5. Thank GOD that we have an incredible bond & a wonderful therapist! I’m happy to say that he has not only adjusted to our family well but he is quite proud to call us mommy & daddy and is overjoyed to be a Kelly soon (he in fact will tell you his name is ____ ___ Kelly by no encouragement from us!) I can’t wait to tell you what those blanks are!

We were in love with these kids from the beginning but there has been the roller coaster of supporting them going home to birth parents then opening our heart & home to them forever. The craziness of foster care and all of the added drama is too crazy for anyone to understand unless you’ve been there. Truly. While we are positive we are finished fostering, we both agree to continue to be involved somehow. There are kids needing homes and support, foster parents needing guidance & listening ears, and workers needing help & good foster parents to work with. We feel we know too much to just walk away…

We love these kiddos to pieces though, even on days that are insane. We have learned to embrace the crazy. I know one day when they are grown, we will miss it. On a recent date night to celebrate our anniversary we commented how odd and dare I say stressful silence felt. Strange, huh? With 3 kids 5 and under there is never a dull moment! They are worth every mark on the wall and every middle of the night wake up call. We are looking forward to just enjoying life and not having extra visits from social workers, court dates, and all that other “fun” though!

I can’t wait to be able to share names & most importantly pictures here!! It’s been so hard to keep such cute faces away from everyone…truly. We have paperwork & a new “adoption” home study to finish, and all  of that but we are hoping to have everything wrapped up by the beginning of 2013. One thing fostering has taught me is patience. Nothing with the county or state is fast or on our timeline, that is for sure! I have to say I’m so looking forward to things being official. Nothing will change as far as the kids are concerned, they have been our kids since day one. I’m just looking forward to not having to make sure faces are hidden in pictures, hiding their real names, giving updates & asking permissions from social workers, and being able to let them have sleepovers with grandparents…I’m looking forward to real life!

All that being said, I just wanted to get everyone caught up. I wanted to put it all out there because really, my blog isn’t much about “fostering” at all anymore. There will be posts that other foster parents can relate to…I want to talk about bonding, and behavior, and other issues I feel may be helpful. But mostly our blog will be about us as a family.  Our life. Our kids. Our journey as parents. Yes, foster care will always be a part of our life  and how we were blessed with three amazing children. Of course, it will also be a part of theirs…but it doesn’t define us, and most certainly not them. No worries, when the adoption is final- you will know. There will be a million pictures posted!! We look forward to sharing our not so little family